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Field Note: Hell is Other People
2026-03-11

It’s cool to work with people who seem very different but bring up almost the exact same topic at the exact same time. I share these "field notes" in case they're helpful to others.

The theme: Other people's opinions about your skills.

1. Being smart

“I want people to think I’m smart.”
“If I could move from having people think I’m smart to actually believing that I am smart, my life would be so much easier.”
“I don’t think I’m smart but I really want to be smart.”

What’s the difference between being smart and thinking that you’re smart?
What’s the difference between my thinking that I’m smart and another person thinking that I’m smart?
Why is being smart important?

2. Compartmentalization of different identities
This has come up several times specifically regarding one’s creative output. If people are used to you producing one kind of work, but you’re no longer interested in doing just that, then what? Do you give yourself permission to expand creatively? What is the cost of compartmentalization?

How do you know that your audience won’t follow you to where you want to go? Be careful of paying attention to what your audience says it wants. This isn’t just for the writers, the visual artists, and the hardware makers. It applies to the white collar knowledge worker working in the office, doing what they think makes others happy.

3. (Un)ethical marketing

Almost every person I’ve worked with has talked about their reservation around marketing. Even those who work in marketing!

A common issue seems to be that when people see only bad examples of marketing, they equate all marketing with bad marketing. The assumption becomes that to be seen is to be a liar. Lying is bad, so people stop doing any marketing, and their business or their career stalls. But not all marketing is bad. It's just that marketing has an image problem! I want people to make it easy for me to discover things that I'm looking for. I want to get information and then make my own decision. I don't want to be manipulated into buying. There are people who market that way! Once I started seeing examples of marketing done ethically and well, I got excited and motivated to market.

What does it look like to do honest, ethical marketing?

• If you’re working to market your small (or even large) business, take a look here: https://marketingforhippies.com/ I'm really enjoying the advice that somewhere between posturing (exaggerating) or collapsing (underselling) lies a third way: composure.
• If you’re working on job hunting and want to avoid the ick of traditional networking and self-promotion, I actually don’t have a solid online resource or book to point you to. I've cobbled together my own method over the years but don't have a codified theory yet for talking about it. If you have a recommendation, let me know!

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